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Premature Ejaculation Control
Sexual satisfaction is the elusive quality we are all searching
for and only seldom find. Sex is for many the big question
that makes or breaks relationships, lives, opportunities and
choices. It is firmly rooted in both the physical and psychological
parts of the human being and it depends on the good functioning
of both to deliver satisfaction. But what happens when one
of the two pillars is unable to perform its role as it should?
What happens when the entire structure is under threat? Unfortunately,
the answer is not encouraging.
Premature ejaculation is the most common sexual problem in
men. Alfred Kinsey, the famous American father of sexology,
found during the string of studies conducted between 1948
and 1953 that three quarters of men ejaculate within the first
two minutes of penetration in more than 50 percent of their
sexual encounters. An estimated 30 percent of all men are
unable to control their ejaculation in most sexual encounters.
This makes premature ejaculation a huge problem for many men
and couples. Actually, the problem with premature ejaculation
is that it spoils all the fun for both partners. Nobody wants
to put an end to a pleasurable activity too early.
Most of those suffering from premature ejaculation are younger
men, who have less control over their bodies and less experience.
Nearly every man has been unable to control himself at least
once during his sex life and almost always during the first
sexual encounter when lack of experience makes holding back
difficult. However, severe cases of premature ejaculation
do not go away on their own, but continue well into the adult
years. The results of this weakness on the physical side of
sex tend to spill over into the psychological side, undermining
confidence and self esteem and triggering patterns of depression.
It’s perfectly clear that inexperience is one of the
biggest causes of premature ejaculation, followed by a weak
PC muscle and a faster than normal neurological response in
the pelvic muscles. Well, inexperience can only be cured with
more sex, which is something we heartily recommend to everybody,
while the muscles located in the pelvic area can be trained
as any other muscle in the body to stop acting on their own.
The PC muscle stands for the pubococcygeus muscle. This muscle
acts as floor to the entire pelvic area of the body, supporting
from underneath the weight of organs. It also controls orgasm
and prolonged exercising helps men achieve orgasm without
ejaculating.
Still, premature ejaculation can be prevented or treated
by working out the PC muscle and bringing it under your control.
When you have full control of this muscle, premature ejaculation
is no longer a problem for you. Penis exercises, like Kegels
or those featured in the Penis Health database, focus on ejaculation
control at beginner, intermediate and advanced levels for
people who are willing to rid themselves of this unfortunate
condition once and for all. The trick is to have confidence
in yourself and in your strength to make premature ejaculation
a thing of the past.
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To learn ejaculatory control:
 Don't use drugs or
alcohol. They're distracting and they interfere with the self-awareness
crucial to learning ejaculatory control.
Appreciate whole-body sensuality. Men often think sex happens only
in the penis and only during intercourse. That view is a one-way
ticket to uncontrolled ejaculation (not to mention erection problems,
and women with those proverbial headaches). The best sex involves
head-to-toe arousal. Men learning how to approach -- but not arrive
at -- their point of no return, need to appreciate whole-body sensuality,
the pleasure potential in every square inch of the body. Whole-body
sensuality releases tension. Tense bodies that have no other outlet
often find release through involuntary ejaculation. But as you learn
to appreciate sensual pleasure from head to toe, whole-body arousal
takes the pressure off your penis, and you last longer.
Whole-body sensuality
means relaxation, but the "relaxation" involved in great
sex is not the kind that includes an easy chair, a six pack, and
Monday Night Football. It's the kind you feel after a hot bath or
a good massage. In fact, bathing or showering together before lovemaking
can help men relax and appreciate whole-body sensuality -- and last
longer.
Breathe deeply. One
very easy way to stay relaxed while making love is to breathe deeply.
The body has a natural tendency to breathe deeply during sex. But
many men fight it. They think they should stay in control by not
breathing deeply and making the little love-moan sounds that go
along with it. But when men work to control their breathing, they
often sacrifice ejaculatory control. Try breathing deeply. Let your
breath go. Many men are amazed how much this one little change improves
their ejaculatory control.
Start with masturbation
with a dry hand. By varying how you caress your penis, you can learn
to stay highly aroused for quite a while without coming. When you
feel yourself approaching your point of no return, simply back off
a bit, stroke yourself more gently or not at all, and stay aroused
without ejaculating. Then as you feel yourself getting a little
distance from your point of no return, return to more vigorous self-stimulation.
Repeat this several times over several sessions. Approach your point
of no return, then back off. For most men, it doesn't take long
to develop good ejaculatory control while alone.
Then move on to masturbation with a lubricated hand. Use saliva,
vegetable oil, or a commercial sexual lubricant. For most people,
lubricants increase the sensual intensity of erotic fondling. Follow
the same program: Masturbate until you approach your point of no
return, then back off. Repeat this several times over several sessions.
Once you have good control
during masturbation, and appreciate whole-body sensuality, and feel
comfortable breathing deeply during lovemaking, then you're ready
for the couples program -- if you're in a couple. The couple approach
is called the "Stop-Start Technique." First, arrange "stop"
and "start" signals with your lover, for example, a light
pinch or tap, or a tug on an ear.
Then, your lover strokes your penis by hand as you lie still. When
you approach your point of no return, give the "stop"
signal. Your lover immediately stops stroking you and simply holds
your penis gently, as you continue to breathe deeply and pays close
attention to the sensations you're feeling. When you no longer feels
close to ejaculation, gives the "start" signal, and your
lover begins stroking you again. How many stops and starts should
you do? A half-dozen over a 15-minute period works well for most
couples. Do what feels comfortable for you.
With stop-start, the focus is on the man. He's the one learning
the new skill. But don't forget the woman's sensual needs. As part
of each practice session, she might guide your hand over her to
show you what she likes.
Once you've gained good ejaculatory control with your lover's hand,
try the same stop-start procedure with oral caresses. Again, you
begin by lying still.
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